Last night was horrendous.
I have no idea how I have managed to function today on 2 and a half hours sleep. I’m not even sure how I’m writing this now.
It wasn’t the heat that kept me awake, it was the paranoia.
I can remember stressing as a teen about the bumps and bangs in the night fretting someone was in the house. I think it started after my sister was born. I was consumed with fear that something bad would happen if I took my eyes off her for even a moment.
This paranoia isn’t something I’ve really mentioned before because it’s mostly an unjustified fear. I’ve never had to deal with a break in or anyone being harmed so I’m not sure where it even stems from. No fear is completely unjust of course. Let’s face it no-one wants to go through any of these things.
So last night I’m lying in bed trying not to over think absolutely everything whizzing round my mind, (impossible of course), trying to figure out how not to disappoint the people I’ve made promises to or how to clear my debts and get back on track as quickly as possible. However the real trouble started when I heard an argument out in the street.
It set my mind racing, worrying about someone getting hurt or the cars being damaged. Then I convinced myself someone was in the house. Eventually I came downstairs to inspect. Of course, it was all in my head.
In typical Paige fashion I decided to jot down all the things keeping me awake or making me feel uneasy, (see below).
Writing things down didn’t help as much as I’d hoped. Still, I’m glad I wrote it down as it means I can reflect and rationalise these fears today.
I tried listening to my favourite songs, that didn’t help. So I tried some ambient music. Whilst it didn’t help me sleep I did really enjoy it and kept my thoughts away from what was troubling me. However, when I checked the time I was horrified. 5.30am. I still hadn’t had a wink of sleep.
I’d like to tell you I found a solution but that would be a lie! I’m hoping, after surviving the day at work, I’ll sleep better this evening.
If anyone has any tips or tricks for helping calm the mind i’d love to hear them!