I can’t help myself. I shoot my mouth off and say exactly what I’m thinking. Half the time I’m having a conversation between myself aswell as someone else. Sometimes I wish I could say nothing at all but then I wouldn’t be me I guess.
I am trying to learn to walk away before I say too much or say something I can’t take back but depending on who that person is depends on how hard it can be.
I change my mind about how I feel constantly. One minute I’m off to travel the world, the next I’m in bed taking a nap or debating saving for a place of my own. I want to figure it all out now! BUT then again, aren’t I meant to be enjoying the ups and downs of finding out what it is I want?
I’m going through that awkward phase where I feel as if the last 4 years of my life have been a total waste of time. Everyone tells me I’m wrong. They tell me I’ve learnt so much and deep down I know they’re right but my mind is cloudy at the moment and it’s rather hard to see the positives I’ve carried with me. If you can think of any send me a message! I’m working on a list so I can physically see what I’ve achieved or gained on the bad days.
I’m happy to be home. It’s been around 1 Month and 20 days since coming off the medication (depending on when I post this!) and I’m proud of myself for coming this far. I have no intentions of turning back now! That’s one positive change I can see.
I know I’m stronger minded and even more outspoken, (I didn’t think that was possible), than before. I’ve battled some pretty big demons, found out who my real friends are and met some incredible people. I guess that should be enough on its own, so why do I feel like I’m missing something?
I’m over the dreaded low mentioned in my last post and I’m working on ways to prevent or help myself when the next one comes along, which it will eventually. One thing I will say about coming off the medication is that it’s hard to tell what’s withdrawal and what’s real. I honestly believe that last low was a side effect and not just me. Does anyone know if you can tell the difference?
Life is improving, its slow but steady. One thing at a time. Credit card is nearly paid off.. (again!), car repairs are booked in and any other “to-dos” on my list are in progress or have been ticked off. Being back home is slowly helping me. Having a place to call home and it not just mean my parents house but where all of my belongings are and of course being surrounded by the best possible people, (despite the usual arguments), is comforting and I’m postive I made the right decision. Even if I’m going to drive the rest of my family mad! 😂
Any words of advice guys?