The Next Page

So for personal reasons I took a short break from my blog. It’s been strange because I’ve had so much to say but no energy to put it all into words! 

I’ve kept up appearances on social media, kept posts positive and I’ve been keeping busy and trying to enjoy myself as best as I can. I’ve taken the fake it till you make it approach. Which just for the record doesn’t actually work!!

So here’s the thing, the more you try to suppress your emotions the harder they are to handle when they surface. I’d had a great few days! Happy as Larry! Plodding along, getting out and enjoying myself, seeing my friends and meeting new people. Then one night I lay in bed took one look around at my childhood room and decided I didn’t want this life. I couldn’t face it, I just could not accept that I was back with my parents, I’d been on an air bed for weeks, everything I owned was everywhere and my heart just hurt. I only told one person how I was feeling at this moment and the advice he gave me helped bring me back to some extent. He told me the way I felt right then was short term. It would not last. I’d been told this before but I think it’s hearing it when you really need too that counts. I shut people out for a few days, no replies to texts, I didn’t answer the phone, didn’t get dressed but I kept telling myself the feeling would pass. I just had to wait it out because I didn’t have any fight left in me. 

A week later and it’s as if I never felt that way. Don’t get me wrong I’ve never been as lost in life as I am now and everyday is a battle but I’ve got some fight left in me afterall! 

I’ve got so much to tell you all but for now I just want to send my love and wish you all a happy weekend! πŸ’•

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