Wow, this blogging is making me sleepy! Not that it’s a bad thing! I just didn’t realise how tired I would feel all the time. Not that i’m letting being a little worn get the better of me!
My good friend Katie, Fe (Lucas’ Gf) and I went for a Costa coffee and had a good catch up. It’s the first time i’ve gone over the breakup story in full, not only to someone else but with myself too. It hurt but I didn’t let it get the better of me. I slurped on a choclate frap whilst exchanging past romantic failures and wins. It did me some good to get out of the house.
I wasn’t sure what to say when people asked how I was feeling. I felt a little numb yesterday, the pain in my chest was there but very dull and achy. One thing I have noticed is that my anxieties are back and in full force. Crowds of people are making it very difficult for me to freak out. I just keep focusing on my breathing and challenging myself to leave the house everyday.
I went out with my best-friend Kieran, my brother and Fe last night. Had a couple of drinks but limited myself to 4 and then drank pop. The last thing I want right now is to be drunk. I’m not on a mission of self-destruct and I was able to prove that to my friends an family last night.
The toll this takes on others is something I am aware of. My mum hasn’t left my side and will not leave me alone. I wanted to show her that I’m able to make wiser choices than I could even just a week ago.
Tonight I’m meeting a few friends and going to the Wallace Pub. I’m not drinking, in fact I’m going to drive and play taxi. I’m looking forward to catching up with a few friends and I’m choosing to focus on that as opposed to the anxiety which comes with driving me car, going to the pub where there will be people I don’t know and just avoided the overwhelming sadness I can feel trying to bloom in my heart.
My top tips for dealing with anxiety;
- Remember to breathe and concentrate on this should you feel an attack looming.
- Don’t sit and suffer in silence, make sure someone around you knows how you are feeling so they can help should you need them too.
- Plot your exits! Yes, should you have a panic attack or desperately need to get away figure out the exit routes. This can be a weight lifted should you need to make a speedy exit.
- Don’t sit still, get involved, make sure your mind is busy and keep talking to people.
- Make sure that you are comfortable with how you look and feel. Your confidence can massively effect how anxious you are. Make sure you dress up, show up and glow!
- Carry round a paper bag. This may sound silly but i’m sure you’ve sen it in the cartoons. Breathing into a bag can help you regain control should you lose it!
- Don’t drink. This may help you feel less anxious at first, heck it can help you speak to strangers, dance and even enjoy yourself for a little while, but then it goes downhill., remember that.
- If your can’t handle it, whether it is your surroundings or too many people or whatever anxiety effects you, then leave. Sometimes admitting defeat doesn’t mean you lose the battle, the fact that you tried is a win.
If anyone has any tips they find really useful and would like to share please let me know! I would love to do a post on all the advice I have received!
Have a lovely weekend all ❤